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15 of Nov 2016

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I’m asleep…

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Bitter

“I’d love to touch the sky tonight, I’d love to touch the sky..”

And probably have some drinks, as you do right about now… but I’m frightened  of what I could think of.
I just finished pushing the Earth down, whilst keeping my ears open for that particular sound.I feel exhausted from the thoughts I had recently, can’t push it away yet, not now.Everything is so yellow it gives me an unnatural state of sickness.

Loved one,

I am miserable at best.
Everything I could be, or do, I don’t wanna do it without you.I am an old soul, a sick romantic, endless.I adore the old way of having someone near, just for the sole purpose of being happy.That’s what I have, a sincere love.Nothing more.

I’ve never  been so far away from the Queen of my purple Castle, it’s so cold, even my dreams are frozen.Oh, how I long for that smile of yours, the smile that can light up the entire Universe.Every since that day, that last day of summer, the rain gently falls through the cold vapors of air outside, as within.
I fell anger taking over my judgement, because I die every time the thought of you being with someone else brushes my mind.Things chanced so fast, all of the sudden, and I miss it, I miss you and everything we done together.I’ve waited all my life to be found by someone like you, and now that you have ran away from this I am lost, truly lost.
And I can’t write anymore, I feel empty from the sorrow.
I miss you.

Found this old gem.

Imaginary conversations.

Weak

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And today I miss it more than ever and I can’t fight it.

-Speak!
-I can’t..
-You must, it’s our only hope!

Loved one,

I wish my  words will find you in peace.
I’ve spent countless light years dwelling in the very essence of the night, until you managed to stumble on this corpse, bringing life into every aspect of my smile.Please forgive my sincerity, I know how you like to mend this situation.I couldn’t agree more, given the circumstances.But there is something inside of me, something that I need to kill, before it kills me.
I enjoy the simplicity of life, the childish fights and the cold goodbyes.I mostly enjoy your laugh more than anything that I heard recently.
For my heart is not at peace,  I struggle and I keep trying to make the world see it.I am really tired of that.But it’s my nature, I cry when I get hurt, I scream with joy when happy, yet I remained silent every time you open your heart, as a stream of tears was collapsing on my naked shoulder.I am sorry, for I was not myself.
How are things?We talk almost every day, but I haven’t seen your face in months.I miss it more than anything.
The worst thing about this is that I have to hear advice from you, you, so everlastingly sure about your true nature, and the shape of things to come..If you are so smart about it, why did you took me into the Castle?Afterwards, I understood you did it because I had broken things that could fix yours.Was I wrong, loved one?Am I?

Is it safe at night?When you sleep?Does it ever get cold?I am frozen to death.
I hate losing, I hate having something real that needs at least a small part of me, then being forced to let it go, just because that’s how things are..What would come of this world if we all gave up, if we all stopped fighting for something?
It dreadfully pains me to adjust to your current words, but not as much as when I took everything into my skin, I might be stupid for that, as you implied.Its perhaps because you are not used anymore to subtle gestures of adoration.How long has it been since you we’re truly adored and cherished?
Was is about a few months ago?When you took my cold hand and felt how I was sweating of fear?Or maybe a few days afterwards when I was shaking when you gazed at me?
I might be a fool, but I know my color, and what I am.More than you ever thought of.
Good night, loved one.

 

From a secondhand lover.

Loved one,